I wishh...

I wish I could stop crying.
I wish I could stop falling for dumb boys.
I wish I could stop losing friends.
I wish I could stop leaving homework at school.
I wish I could stop being a bitch.
I wish I could stop thinking about him.
I wish I could make him like me as much as I like him.
I wish I could make everyone happy.
I wish my fingers were longer.
I wish I could just throw my phone out a window.
I wish I didn't have the conversation I had last night with him.
I wish people didn't think of me as a slut.
I wish I didn't deserve to have people think of me as a slut.
I wish I had a best friend.
I wish I had better taste in stuff.
I wish I could stop eating.
I wish I could stop feeling sick to my stomach.
I wish I could stop having nightmares.
I wish I could move away.
I wish it would snow forever.
I wish I could stay home tomorrow.
I wish Becca was here right now to give me a hug.
I wish I could fly to Indiana right this second.
I wish I could just skip to the part where I find out if I made it as a journalist or should I just give up now.
I wish my medicine worked better.
I wish I didn't have to have a psychologist.
I wish I could be happy with what I have.
I wish I could write a symphony.
But the thing about wishes is that most of the time, they're not going to come true.

Janna was here :]

Wordddddddddd up.

ALEX IS TAKING A POOO.

SHE SAYS, "IT'S GOING WELL."

WE'RE SO GLAD.

And the world spins madly on.

It's a funny thing, life.

So unpredictable.

I never thought I'd fall for someone this way.

Especially if that someone has been one of my best friends for a long time and I never realized that things might work out between the two of us.

I've been having really bad dreams.

Or really weird ones, if they're not bad.

Mostly about the last boy I fell for like this.

A certain red-faced asshole, to be specific.

"Why do we fall?"

"To prove that we can get up again."

I might be starting to get up again, but it's just so hard to stop thinking about the person you've always considered your soul mate.

But yeah. As for the present, I really really really like him.

He's perfect for me.

And I think I'm perfect for him.

I wish I could see him, but he's in freaking trouble again.

Yepppp.

Things are a-changin'.

Merry (late) Christmas.

Wowwww...

How things change.

He told me that he loves me.

"I would do anything to be with you..I've never cared for anyone as much as I care for you..I want you alex."

and then he told me.

He told me he'd wait for me because all he wants is to be with me.

Yesterday he held my hand as we ran through the rain in the library parking lot.

He turned to me, looked at me, and said, "You're beautiful."

Randomly.

It won't sink in.

Hit me over the head, someone?

Well, uh.

Basically, I uh....well.
Yes.
Hmm.
Anyways..I lost my best friend this week.
I lost him and it hurts like hell.
He doesn't care about me anymore.
And I just try my hardest not to cry when I see him.

I told him everything.
Everything, I swear.
What did he tell me?
He told me what happened between us didn't mean anything.
Yeahh...thanks.

Anyways...It's hard to believe this past week.
Seriously.

T: "Guess what"
A: "What?"
T: "Your beautiful :)"

Yeahhh.

Haaaa, I never thought I'd actually do all that lovey-dovey shit.
Likeeee...holding me in the rain with my legs around his waist kissing.
See, I never thought that would happen to me.
But, I think I like him. Maybe a bit more than I should.

He says I'm beautiful.
And I think he really means it.

I've never had a boy that treated me this way.
I thought I was just using him....
I guess things change, huh.

This is me being bored..

NINE things about yourself:
9) I like buying things for people. Really.
8) I love holidays.
7) I like hugs.
6) I get lonely a lot more than people know.
5) I like sad things.
4) I always feel inferior to my friends.
3) I love peanut butter more than you.
2) I love receiving letters/packages/magazines in the mail.
1) I cry inside every time I see my best friend.

EIGHT​ ways to win your heart​:​​​
8) Don't be afraid to show me how you feel.
7) If something's bothering you/going on in your life, tell me.
6) Listen to me when I'm talking. I may be saying something important :/
5) Be there for me when I cry. All I need is a hug sometimes.
4) Compliments are nice :)
3) Let me call you something that's not what everyone else calls you.
2) Don't be indecisive. If you want something, straight up tell me.
1) Let me know your political and religious beliefs. I'm not saying you have to believe the same things as me, but I like someone who'll stand up for what they think.

Your top SEVEN bands(or artist):
7) Weezer
6) Oasis
5) Big Brother and the Holding Company
4) The Raconteurs
3) Death Cab for Cutie
2) Ferraby Lionheart (he's my soul mate, I swear.)
1) The White Stripes.

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:
6) Wash my face.
5) Lotion my face.
4) Cuddle wiff Cheer Bear :)
3) Lately, listen to Goliath.
2) Text a buncha peopless.
1) Say my prayers. Yeah, I try to stay in touch with the Big Guy.

FIVE friends who mean a lot at the moment:
5) Ashtastic.
4) Annick.
3) Jannz.
2) Ambuhh.
1) ...I just don't know right now.

FOUR things you see right now:
4) Television.
3) Hibachi take out.
2) Little Christmas tree my dad thought would be cute to decorate my computer desk with...
1) Two new text messages!

THREE songs that you listen to often:
3) Apple Blossom - The White Stripes.
2) Lucky - Jason Mraz.
1) Vermont Avenue - Ferraby Lionheart.

TWO things you want to do before you die:
2) Go to New Zealand.
1) I really wanna find someone, as pathetic as that sounds.

ONE confession:
1) If you don't already know, then I'm not allowed to tell you...